


Love Neve Dies

by YukiRiikus_Reading_Room



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Hurt Steve, Love Confessions, M/M, Steve Feels, Steve Needs a Hug, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-21
Updated: 2013-03-21
Packaged: 2017-12-05 23:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/729272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YukiRiikus_Reading_Room/pseuds/YukiRiikus_Reading_Room
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve wasn't sure he'd ever be ready for this moment - going to see Bucky's grave.  Little does he know who's watching him from the shadows...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Neve Dies

“Do you want me to come with you?” 

“No, I think… I think I need to do this alone.  Somehow I feel like I owe him that much for waiting this long.” Steve smiled sadly, squeezing Natasha’s hand in his before pulling away to turn and look at the grave twenty feet away that they’d come to see.  When he’d found out about Bucky’s honorary grave, he’d felt so wrong about the whole thing and the memories it brought up that he’d found acting like the grave didn’t exist was better than going to see it.

It wasn’t until Tony had found the search in his browser history and put two and two together that anyone found out. 

Now, as he unsteadily made his way towards the empty grave, he didn’t feel like Captain America anymore - he felt like who Steve Rogers used to be, a skinny kid in Brooklyn, completely lost and vulnerable without Bucky to save him.  His eyes watered at the thought that he felt like he’d lost the ability to be vulnerable, that he didn’t feel safe being himself now that Bucky was gone.  He didn’t know who Steve Rogers was anymore, immersing himself fully into his role as Captain America, existing for no other purpose. 

He felt like he’d lost his human side when Bucky died, that everything left was what the serum had given him.  After all, a normal human can’t live without a heart, and his best friend had definitely taken it with him when he fell off that train.

“Hey Bucky.”  Steve started, taking a deep breath when his voice broke.  Turning he looked for Natasha, relieved to see her no where in sight.  He wasn’t sure he really wanted her to see him like this.  “Sorry it too me so long, I don’t have an excuse.  So, how have you been?  I’ve been to see Peggy’s grave a few times, I’ll say hi for you next time I’m there if you want… God… why does this feel so hard when talking to you never did?”

He fell silent, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket as he stared down at the tomb stone at his feet.

“Darcy - you’d like her, she’s got moxy - showed me this filmed version of a Broadway play the other night, she’s always trying to make me take in modern culture.  Anyways, it was called ‘Love Never Dies’.”  Steve stopped, his throat sticking on the words he needed to say.  Even now, when there was no chance for Bucky to say anything in return, he was finding it hard to tell him how he felt.  “Anyways, it made me think about you… God, you knew I loved you, didn’t you Buck?  You always… sometimes I could have sworn you knew.  But it’s too late to know for sure, huh?  Well… I guess we can talk about it next time I come to visit… I love you James Barnes, that won’t ever change.”

 

——-

 

Watching from the shadows in the tree line outside the graveyard gates, Natasha swallowed.  This whole thing felt very, very wrong to her.

“Why can’t you just tell him?”  Natasha asked, watching the dejected slump of Steve’s shoulders as he turned away from the grave.  “Why can’t you just tell him you’re alive?”

“Because,” Bucky said softly, his face full of pain as he watched his best friend crying, “he’s not ready yet.”

“And when will he be?”

“I don’t know.”  Bucky sighed, running a hand through his hair.  “I did some pretty awful things Nat, you know that.”

“We all did.” Nat said, taking his hand.  “Just… think about it.  He’ll forgive you, and I’ll help you get into SHIELD.  You can make amends, just like I did… and he loves you, James, isn’t that enough?”

Bucky didn’t answer, choking back tears as she left his side and hurried to meet Steve so they could return to base.

 

——-

As they were leaving the graveyard, tears still clinging to his eyelashes, Steve could have sworn he saw Bucky standing in the shadows watching him.

But that was impossible. Bucky was dead - even if love never died.


End file.
